DES & PARDES

1. Mother-in law:
In Des - A women capable of making your life miserable.
In Pardes - A women you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free?

2. Husband:
In Des - A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.
In Pardes -Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.

3. Friend:
In Des - A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.
In Pardes -A person who you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.

4. Wife:
In Des - A woman who gives you your towel when you go to take a shower.
In Pardes - A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.

5. Son:
In Des -- A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.
In Pardes - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.

6. Daughter:
In Des - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes when her doli is about to leave.
In Pardes - A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before any doli time.

7. Father:
In Des - A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.
In Pardes -A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.

8. Engineer:
In Des -A person with a respectable job and lots of upper ki kamai.
In Pardes -A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.

9. Desi Doctor:
In Des -- A respectable person with ok income.
In Pardes - A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor ki biwi".

10. Bhangra:
In Des - A vigorous punjabi festival dance.
In Pardes - A desi dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

11. Software Engineer:
In Des - A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue consulate visa line.
In Pardes - The same hitech guy, who does Ganapati puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)' every year.

12. A Green Card holder bachelor:
In Des -
the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.
In Pardes - the guy can't speak English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan, dreams of owning a BMW.